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20 reasons Jesus was a communist, pacifist, tax-and-spend liberal hippie

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Just off the top of my head: 
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1.  He threw the moneychangers out of the temple and called them theives.  They were just ordinary businessmen in a laissez-faire economy. 
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2.  He said, "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven."
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3.  He encouraged people to give everything they could, and promised that god would support everyone in need.  Just like socialism.
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[edit]Matthew 19:21<br />
Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions
and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come,
follow me."[/edit]
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4.  "turn the other cheek"
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5. "love thy enemy"
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6.  "blessed are the peacemakers"
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7. "blessed are the meek"
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8. "woe unto ye who are rich"
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 9. "forgive our debts, as we forgive our debtors" -- clearly he would favor bailing out poor people with subprime mortgages.
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10. "Give us this day our daily bread" -- what a sense of entitlement to demand handouts!!! 
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 11. "Every mountain shall be made low, every valley shall be exalted" --although this is actually from Isaiah's prophecy about the messiah, it looks like a metaphor for proletarian revolution
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 12.  Some early christians (before 200BC) actually established agricultural communes.
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 13. Jesus is soft on crime: anybody who believes in his scapegoat-like sacrifice will be forgiven.
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 14. Jesus loves the poor, the prostitutes, the lepers,  etc.   And he gave them free healthcare!  That's not what Ronald Reagan or John McCain would do.
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15. Jesus said nothing about or against homosexuality.
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 16. "and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy father which is in secret" -- clearly Jesus opposes school prayer.
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 17. Jesus performed the "miracle of the loaves and fish" -- divine government handouts for the poor.
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 18. "ask and it shall be given to you.  Seek and ye shall find.  Knock and the door shall be opened" -- giving the poor a sense of entitlement
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 19.  "Blessed are the merciful"
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 20.  "And if any man will sue thee, and take away thy cloak, let him have thy coat also.  And whosoever shall compell thee to go a mile, go with him twain. Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away"   --  He clearly favors caving in to terrorist demands, and giving the poor everything they want.   Pacifist hippie communist!!!
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So why do people who call themselves "christian conservatives" have nearly opposite views to most of the things in this list? 
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